Fragile.

I was reading through all the tumblr posts in my dashboard and the most apparent thing was that majority of the typographies, majority of the pictures and quotes, they were all about love-- falling in love, falling out of love, and most of all, heartbreak.


It's sort of comforting to know that in the midst of heartbreak, even if you're feeling alone and misunderstood-- like no one in the world could possibly feel all the pain you feel-- you're not. Alone that is. You may think that while others can see that you are hurting, you're the only person in the world who can actually feel each snapping of the pieces, the only person who can hear the deadly but silent shattering of your heart. But that's not entirely the case.


Someone, somewhere in the world, is experiencing the exact same, maybe even deeper and more painful, gripping, squeezing, shattering feeling that you're going through. But despite that knowledge, the loud thudding of your heart against your chest, it's protest against the literal pain that it feels, is not dulled, nor does it become more bearable. Because despite knowing that you're not the only one going through pain, you're the only one who knows to what extent the damage is, you're the only one who knows the exact pin prick of pain. The most painful thing is that, you have no way of showin exactly what you feel.


Man is not a solitary creature. And although we can cope with the pain, miraculously, man can only take so much without needing someone to share the pain with, without having someone else know that despite bringing up a facade of happiness, deep inside, you're hurting more than others can possibly imagine.


But there are no words to vocalize the extent of damage done to such a fragile thing that despite being broken numerous times, despite being beaten up by numerous different emotions daily, accepting blow by blow all the painful things and circumstances, amazingly still beats and repairs itself-- Amazing that it's fragility gives rise to its strength; That because it can be shattered so easily, it can heal and stitch itself up.


Now I ask, how many times can a heart take being treated so cruelly?


Right now, the heart inside me is beating widly against my chest-- maybe a silent shout of release from all the squeezing and beating it took last night. It, being defenseless, just took all the raging, harsh emotions, blow by blow. Maybe I was hoping that after some time, it would become numb to the pain, that it would get used to emotional.. battering. But until now, it's still jumping up and down, waiting for the negative emotions to subside-- tired but still fighting. And though I feel guilty that it experienced and is still experiencing all this unnecessary pain, I do not regret putting it through this.


You can only learn to stand up again when you've experienced falling down. It's not stupidity to stand up, even with knowing fully that you can possibly fall down again. It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, everyone does at one point in their life. What matters is how many times you decide to stand up again despite all the injuries you sustained-- that is one of the real measures of strength.